When I was young, a farm in West Texas was my life. Daily activities would have been very uneventful to most, consisting of school during the weekdays and driving the tractor on the weekends and in summers. My parents were good Christian people, having worked hard for what they have ensuring that my sister and me attended church where most of the don’ts were preached instead of the do’s. And as good church-going people, my parents had instituted a simple Christian policy at home which consisted of stay out of trouble at school where we would experience less trouble at home. It worked for my younger sister, but as for me I was much more prone to getting in tight spots which required more discipline. As promised, when my parents acquired the news of my mischief I did receive more thought-provoking instruction. We were also taught if we told the truth, didn’t hurt people, and weren’t selfish, life would go our way. To my parents’ credit, what they taught is and always should be the mindset of every man and woman. To me, it seemed simple enough, but the world doesn’t play fair; in fact, at times, it can be very harsh.
In the year 2002, a personal tragedy struck that shook my world, causing emotional pain that couldn’t be measured where physical pain failed in comparison. To compensate for the extreme emotional pain, porn and alcohol became the pain killers. However, you can only drink so much alcohol. I stopped drinking, but the porn remained as a hidden secret.
Once a person becomes truly aware of their sin, a battle starts to rage within where shame and self-condemnation has an unfortunate place in their life. I was afraid that people would find out, that they would condemn me for my sin. The truth was that I condemned myself, I tortured myself, and I felt unworthy to walk through the church doors, much less sit down in the presence of anyone else. Even though they didn’t know, it was enough that I knew, and I felt judged and condemned anyway. I asked myself so many questions, such as “How am I going to stop; how will I face my family, friends, and church if they ever find out”? “Will I be cast aside, will I be treated as an equal over time”? The lies that satan tempted me as answers to these questions were unbearable. The one question that produced more tears than any other was “Will the Lord ever forgive me”? To answer these questions, yes, I did stop, and pornography is no longer an dependency; yes, the Lord does forgive and loves me!
One of the most important, appreciated morals I learned from parents and family is to sacrifice and serve, giving more than you get in return. I felt called to continue serving and reach out to those in need. Tragedy usually strikes unexpectedly, and in most cases, when life is going well. It causes emotional pain that is difficult to face and hard to understand. It could be finances, death, career, abuse, or abandonment that causes a desperate situation in someone’s life followed by pain. Other than curiosity, most addictions stem from finding ways to cope with this emotional pain.
Prior to starting this ministry, I had the pleasure to meet several people who were going through tough times, allowing addictions to dictate their future and with no help. The shackles that bound their happiness were getting rusty every day with no hope or prospects of recovery. It made me realize that people need to know they are not alone, people do care, and with assistance, people can walk away from addictions that steal their lives. Christ Against Pornography was created to provide that assistance to battle sexual dependencies.
If you are having difficulties with pornography or sexual dependency, you can walk away as well, and feel the freedom from the rusty shackles that restrain your ability to serve the Lord. You can walk away from the prison that holds you captive from feeling the forgiveness, acceptance, and love of Jesus Christ. He is waiting for you, please trust and give him a chance to show you his forgiveness!
This is my story,
Christ Against Pornography
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